[Image Description: Danielle is babywearing Bitty A in a Tula using a back carry. She and Bitty A are both smiling broadly at the camera. Danielle has her hair covered in a simple two-toned veil.]
I took a bit of a blogging break, but I had a really good reason. I needed a break! This little blog seemed to be going all over the place, I was all over the place, my life was changing, and I really didn’t know what direction I wanted to take Primordial Willow anymore. I had lost my focus.
When I initially began blogging, I wanted to create a space for fellow Pagan parents, urban homesteaders, and homeschooling Pagans. I wanted to provide information and resources that I had gathered along the way as I homeschooled and raised my own Witchlings. But, my life flipped. Viking Man and I had a miscarriage. He and I separated for a while. I began working full time. We had another baby, Bitty A, while separated. I was a mess. My life was a mess. And this blog was the last thing on my mind.
It sucked. I was definitely battling a lot of depression. I also got sick, really sick. My chronic illnesses that I’ve had for years reared their ugly heads in full force while my family and I were dealing with so much uncertainty. I didn’t know what to do, in my own life, or on Primordial Willow.
All I could do was focus on expanding my doula business and raising my kids. All I could do was pull myself out of bed everyday and hope for the best. And honestly, I felt kind of embarrassed to blog about anything. After all, blogs are places where people who have their shit together write about their awesome parenting skills and baking masterpieces, right? The chaos that my life was entwined in did not seem blog worthy.
So, I took a break.
I needed a break.
During the break, Viking Man and I decided to work on our relationship. We’re much happier now. We’re still assholes at time, but we’ve learned how to not stink so bad. We’ve both come to terms with the fact that neither of us had good examples of loving and healthy marriages growing up, so this will be one of the hardest things we’ll have to work at. We’re doing our best and learning and loving as we go.
We’ve also been focusing on growing our relationships with The God and Goddess and how we want our craft to work within our family. I’ve made the choice to start veiling full time now. It’s the right thing for me to do at this point in my life. It’s a reminder of my focus on my craft and my dedication to Persephone. We’re also constantly trying to find new and exciting ways to incorporate Paganism into our children’s daily lives without being indoctrinating assholes. It’s a learning curve, because we were raised with the latter (from a Christian perspective), so our immediate reaction was to not raise our children around our beliefs at all. However, Viking Man and I have realized that that’s not the right answer either. So, we’re trying to find the perfect balance. Maybe there isn’t a perfect balance, but our ultimate goal is to not screw our kids up, which is always a good goal to have.
This year, Big A starts Kindergarten. His transition to this new stage of life has been incredibly motivating for me to find that perfect balance of awesome Pagan homeschooling without perpetuating that Paganism is the way, the truth, the light, etc. I think we’ve found our Pagan homeschooling groove, so I’m hoping to post more about it soon once I’ve worked out a few kinks.
Oh my Gods, I have a five year old!
Anyway, the kids are all doing well. They’ve been thriving, actually, since Viking Man and I made our marriage a priority. Funny how that works, right? Bitty A is 17 months old now and Little a is 4 years old. All three of my babies are beautiful, vibrant, and thriving. And they’re getting too damn big. Clearly it’s time for another Newcomb… or maybe I’ll just focus on my doula client babies. We’ll see.
This post is getting rather rambley, and I’m notorious for rambling, so I’ll cut myself off. Primordial Willow’s focus will be on Pagan Parenting, Pagan Homesteading, and Pagan Homeschooling. Those are the three things that I love to write about, they were the three original focuses of this blog, and they will return to being the three main focuses of this blog. Of course, I’m sure I’ll continue producing the occasional rambley post, such as this, like I always do. What I’m trying to say is I’m back, the blog is back, I enjoyed my break, and thank you for sticking around.